Scary Fish and How I Arrived At Them

Okay, so what other strange sea creatures exist that would terrify me?

The black dragon fish which produces a light that only it can see. And I think it impales its prey on its teeth. I might be mixing up two different kinds of eels. But that's scary, right? Alone- in the dark- you can't see it but it can see you?   

I guess that makes sense...

My god this is lame. I'm going to talk about scary fish and listen to crappy rock? Really? Ooooh, scary fish! Start taking things less seriously.

But....but....scary fish!!

It's been DONE. Read some damn finding nemo or something.

BUT I HAVENT DONE IT!

Okay, okay, what else do you have?

Well...what about the gremlin shark whose jaw can extend forward?

Predator.

Well what about the northern skygazer?

Lame. It's a fish that lives in the sand. No one is afraid of that.

Well what about...I don't know...giant squid...

Everyone ever. 500 years ago. 

Okay, well, what ideas do you have, mister fancy pants?

What if they're sentient? Not everything has to be out to kill you, obviously.

Well, if it's not then is your story going to be about everyone fucking getting along and holding hands, or is it going to be about star crossed lovers with fins? I mean, really. You've got love and you've got hate.

Well, what about a common mission?

What about we're in league with the fish people to eradicate those acidic fungi things from earlier?

Yay. We're teaming up against the weeds.

Dude, seriously, fuck you brain.

Come up with better ideas and I won't mock them.

Step 1. Make your internet radio turn off black sabbath. I mean really? Of course all your ideas are about sci-fi from the 80's.

This is a good song, damn you!

Okay, so we're diving in our exploratory submarine vessel on our way to establish the mineral content of the ocean floor. 


No sentient life has been detected, everything says that this is a mineral planet covered in water. You've done this a million times before, so you're just going through the motions and pressing the right buttons and thinking about what you're going to do with your vacation time. You’re newer to this planet, but other than the venemous fish, there’s nothing to worry about in the water. People have been mapping this area for the last seven years. You’re just continuing their work.

You’re stopped and cut the engines, hovering over the top of a rock shelf that drops off significantly somewhere ahead of you. Not relishing the deep dive into that pit, but that will require the deeper range vessel, and right now you’re just in the shitty shallows boat: economic on fuel but they feel like they’re made out of tinfoil by a five year old. There’s not even a full quarter inch of steel between you and the cold, deadly stuff outside. Yeah, the manual says it’s titanium and you’re safe, but there’s nothing like the feel of five solid inches of metal all around you and glass as thick as your head. 

You’re scanning and waiting on the computer to finish analyzing the mineral content. Nothing valuable here but some cheap iron ore you could probably get on any planet. You look out the window at the floor outside. Nothing special. Well, nothing but the floating bits of mineral in the water. It swirls in patterns underneath of your engines, shifting around and then settling.

But then you realize it’s not settling. It’s sliding. The entire floor underneath of you is sliding away without making a sound. 

That strange feeling you get when you're in a car sitting still and another car is moving forward- that feeling that you're falling backwards- washes over you, and you feel yourself getting nauseous. It just keeps sliding, moving forward. You worry if you're going to get sucked in the current after it. The engines on these shitty tugboats WILL not save you. It just keeps sliding away like a giant moving carpet made of solid rock. There's no sound. There's nothing. Just the visual. 

All of a sudden, it ends, and there is nothing but the ocean floor underneath of you again. Exactly where it was, just a little further down, underneath of the layer you were just looking at. Naked rock and nothing else. You move your light to try to catch where whatever moved disappeared to, but there's nothing but darkness staring back at you.

"Station 1, did you get that?"

"Get what?"

"Were you watching the camera?"

"...yeah."

He was probably playing some stupid game on his tablet. 

"Rewind and review the last thirty seconds of video." Why did they even put solitaire on a fucking communicator watch?

"Roger"

There is a long pause while you try to pierce the wall of blackness in front of you. All of a sudden it's pregnant with a thousand threats. Lists of other off-world incidents run through your head. The magnetic pits of Cercon that sucked in and crushed every vessel that came too close. The freak whirlpools of Hera 12. Sudden underwater mudslides in at least a dozen oceans that you know of, burying everyone alive...

The intercom crackles on. "Whoa. I see it, Explorer 18."

"What do you think it is?"

"No idea. Report to the surface until we know what's going on."

You breathe out a sigh of relief. It's good to get out of there. Whatever it was, it's gone. You can figure it out later. The data people up in November 91 will know how to search and identify that kind of thing.

The engine rumbles under you as you cut through the water, making your way back to your warm, dry bunk, and leaving the ocean behind.

From the darkness rumbles a low frequency vibration. Satellite November 91 interprets it as tectonic movement and informs station 1 that it can be ignored safely.

              (So that's not too bad, right?

              Well, I'm sure we could do worse.)

During mating season the stonefish, identified as one of the most venomous fish in the galaxy, use the risidual electromagnetic energy of the local stone on their home planet to power a low level of light for a bioluminescent mating display. However, with the advent of space exploration and the arrival of an planet mapping crews, they began to extract electromagnetic energy from every piece of technology available, and consume it, using it to power a much more brilliant display and attract many more mates. Because of the plentitude of electromagnetic energy available closer to exploratory control centers, more stonefish were mated and bred in that area, and their population grew exponentially within their vicinity. 

The most dangerous places on the planet became those bases. Since the fish drain the power from the bases, or more specifically, from the generators that supplied those bases, there were frequent mechanical problems and malfunctions during those time periods due to loss of power. In the event of a breach, which was frequent, especially during the first five years, though the water was shallow near the control centers, there were few survivors. 

Eventually, all door and hull locks had to become manual, and valuable space became occupied by the large generators, which were then housed inside of the control space, as far away from the exterior of the base as possible. In this way, the stone fish were discouraged from mating near the bases, though their populations remained high as a result of residual electromagnetic radiation from standard equipment. After this adaptation was made, mortality was significantly lowered, but crew numbers had to be lowered to just three or four people instead of the usual complement of nine because of lack of workspace. The noise of the generators also made communication difficult, and the majority of conversation, especially in the central control area in the center of the base, had to be done by radio communications, while personnel were required to wear ear protection at all times.

Basically, the already shitty job of exploring and mapping an entire planet became shittier. Workspace and crews got smaller, but the workload became the same, and the deadlines got shorter, if anything. 

And now I'm on my way back to that after seeing whatever the hell it was that I just saw. It's not much, but seeing your dead planet move is enough to make you wish for whatever home you have. Even if it's a 3x7 bunk space and a shitty internet connection.